Customer orientation is everything

This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humour) - and made the web department take it down immediately.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.

In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

  1. First Name:
    Initial:
    Last Name:
    Password: (max 8 char)
    Code Name:
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:

  2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?

    F-14 Tomcat F-15 Eagle F-16 Falcon F-117A Stealth Classified

  3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19/ /
  4. Serial Number:
  5. Please check where this product was purchased:
  6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
  7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    Style / appearance
    Speed / manoeuvrability
    Price / value
    Comfort / convenience
    Kickback / bribe
    Recommended by salesperson
    McDonnell Douglas reputation
    Advanced Weapons Systems
    Backroom politics
    Negative experience opposing one in combat
  8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    North America
    Iraq
    Central / South America
    Iraq
    Aircraft carrier
    Iraq
    Europe
    Iraq
    Middle East (not Iraq)
    Iraq
    Africa
    Iraq
    Asia / Far East
    Iraq
    Misc. Third World countries
    Iraq
    Classified
    Iraq
  9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
    Colour TV
    VCR
    ICBM
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon
  10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Check all that apply:)
    Communist / Socialist
    Terrorist
    Crazed
    Neutral
    Democratic
    Dictatorship
    Corrupt
    Primitive / Tribal
  11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
  12. Your occupation:
  13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    Golf
    Boating / sailing
    Sabotage
    Running / jogging
    Propaganda / disinformation
    Destabilisation / overthrow
    Default on loans
    Gardening
    Crafts
    Black market / smuggling
    Collectibles / collections
    Watching sports on TV
    Wines
    Interrogation / torture
    Household pets
    Crushing rebellions
    Espionage / reconnaissance
    Fashion clothing
    Border disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
Washington DC

inconnu

bboett@inforezo.u-strasbg.fr